Super SERCET Organization Slumber PAAARTY! XD
by NAX . Cookie -n- Cream . NAX
Summary: What happens when two fantastic authors get together over the weekend? TOTAL. COMPLETE. ANNIHILATION. [More random than a barrel of pickle related stories! XD] [CRACKfic: You've been WARNED]
1. Clean Up on Aisle 4

"I love grocery shopping!"

Came the squeal of a skipping pink haired fema- male. Marluxia pranced (gaily, might I add) down the 4th aisle of PathWay, the closet grocery store to the Organization 13. Following behind him was Vexen, pushing the cart, Zexion, reading a book to hide his shame, and Luxord throwing his cards at Number XI.

"Mate, will you cut that out already?" Luxord pleaded. "You're embarrassing us!"

"Seriously…" Number VI mumbled, looking up from his book, trying to conceal his emo shame. The pink-haired 'male' only giggled.

"C'mon, fellas!" he chirped. "Don't you love this? The rush of the carts, the feel of the cardboard against our fingers!" he sighed dreamily, taking in the smell of old food and cheep packaging products. He sighed once more. "Intoxicating…"

"Yea, intoxicating…" Vexen muttered, quite annoyed at this point. He absolutely hated grocery shopping. He watched as Marluxia threw in box after box, can after can, into their cart. He raised an eyebrow.

"You know, we're not even getting half of this stuff." He said in a dry tone. Marluxia chuckled, spinning around to face the elder Nobody.

"Oh, Vexen!" he cooed. "It's all in good fun and spirit!" he then proceeded to shove random parcels into the cart. Zexion closed his book and looked up fully.

"Does anyone even know what we're supposed to be buying?" he asked. Luxord shrugged.

"I have no clue. Roxas is supposed to be coming with the list."

"Hmm…" Marluxia added in, crossing his arms. "I wonder where he is, anyways…"

(Somewhere far away from PathWay)

Roxas had left the grocery list back in the castle, so he and Axel had decided to drive (yes, I said DRIVE) back to get it. In the car on the way back, Axel swerved randomly, chuckling maniacally, as if drunk.

"Sheesh, Axel!" Roxas cried, grabbing a hold of the seat. "Slow down!" Axel only laughed.

"It's more fun driving this way!"

"Ughh…" Number XIII moaned, rubbing his temples with his hands. "I just hope no one—"

_WOOOOOOOWOOOOOOWOOOOOWOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!_

"Yo, Axel!!" Roxas yelled, turning around in his seat to get a better look of the police cars chasing after them. "We got da' PoPo on our tail!!"

"Durn it!!" Axel shouted, the flashing red and blue lights blinding him slightly. A smirk spread across his face. "We'll out run them!!" And with that, the crazed pyromaniac stepped on the gas, and speed away, laughing evilly (again).

"YOU'LL NEVA' CATCH ME ALIVE, COPPAS'!!!!!!"

(Back at PathWay)

"This elevator music has GOT TO GO." Demyx grunted, crossing his arms. He was in the shopping group along with Saix, Xemnas (by the way, the two were flirting with each other – GROOOSSS!!!!!!), and Larxene (who was equally grossed out by Saix and Xemnas, too). Looking around to see if anyone was watching him, Demyx sprinted off to the nearest cash register, taking up the mike and standing on the item belt (you know, those things that move your items down the line…you get me? No? Too bad, you're loss XD).

"ATTENTION HOPPERS!!!! I MEAN, SHOPPERS!!!" the waterboy shouted out, a ridiculous grin set upon his face. "I'd like to dedicate this song to my very good friends, Saix, and Xemnas." He said, summoning his Sitar and strumming a chord.

"Oh, and by the way, they're gay for each other." He started to play, when out of NOWHERE a flying claymore speared the instrument in two. Looking up fearfully, he saw the seed of the demon himself, Saix, stomping towards him.

"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!!!" he growled, summoning another claymore and advancing towards him. With a shriek, Demyx began to run, but at the same time, the item belt began to move. Saix jumped up onto the belt to give chase, but, since the belt was moving, he didn't move either. So actually, none of them were moving (you have Nax to thank for that brilliant insanely random but funny idea. +high fives Nax+).

(Somewhere else in the store)

Zexion stopped walking suddenly, and Vexen stopped with him.

"What's wrong?" Vexen asked. Zexion tilted his head to one side.

"I don't know, but I have a feeling Demyx got himself into something. Again." Vexen scoffed.

"We all knew that was coming."

(Somewhere **ELSE **in the store)

Larxene walked by a shelf in the card section that held some small, but simply adorable teddy bears.

"Aww…" she said, picking up a pink, fluffy one with a black top hat and red bowtie on. She was smiling at it, when she noticed two guys were staring at her weirdly. She instantly frowned.

"What you lookin' at, boi?" she snapped, ripping off the head of the bear in one clean rip.

"You know, you're gonna end up paying for that." One of them spoke. Before either knew what had happened, the two were pinned up against the wall, Kunai at their throats.

"You wanna run that by me again?" Larxene growled viciously.

"I-I-I mean y-y-you'll have to p-p-pay for that in m-munny…" the other one stuttered.

"Oh." She removed her weapons and dismissing them. She then took out a sum of munny and thrust it into their hands. "Have a nice day, boys." She said sweetly, with an overly happy (and creepy) smile on her face.

(Somewhere **ELSE** completely unrelated to the store)

_forgot about them, didn't ya?)_

Having lost control of the car and crashing into 29 trees, 14 cars, Xigbar (random much?), and a wild boar (presumed to be Xigbar's girlfriend XDDD), both Axel and Roxas stood chained up on the side of the road.

"I can't believe we got arrested, Axel." Roxas grumbled, rolling his eyes. Axel scoffed and smiled slyly.

"I've got our way out of this one." The younger of the two raised his eyebrows.

"Really? How?"

"Heh, watch this!" Axel said, turning towards the police officer a few feet from them. "YO OFFICER!!!!!" The cop turned around.

"What do you want?" he snapped. Suddenly, Axel began shaking uncontrollable.

"I'VE GOT CRAMPS!!!!!!" he wailed, falling to the ground, convulsing spastasically. The officer wasn't moved.

"Only women get cramps, you dunce!"

"Well…" Roxas began, trying to think up an excuse. "He's got….uhhh… MAN CRAMPS!!!!! They're…uhh…like, really bad."

The officer gazed at the two for a moment: one looking like he was being electrocuted, and the other looking completely pathetic.

These two were nutjobs.

"You two are crazy." He said, sighing. "I'm letting you go." After removing their cuffs and driving away in his car, Axel rose up from the ground, chuckling. Roxas sighed, annoyed and amused at the same time.

"Only you could pull that off, axel."

"You know you love me." Axel replied, smiling.

"Whatever." Roxas opened his portal, and stepped inside, Axel following at his heels.

(Somewhere in the dark portal)

"Why didn't we use this before?" Axel called out to Roxas in the dark.

" 'Cause you're an idiot."

"I can't see where I'm going. Roxas, gimmie your hand."

"No!"

"Come on!!!" Axel wailed, groping around, grasping hold of what he presumed to be Roxas' wrist.

"Uhh…Axel?"

"Yeppers?"

"That ain't my hand."

"o.O"

(Back in aisle 4)

"Marluxia!! Watch where you're swinging your hands!!" Luxord called out to him, but with no luck; Marluxia knocked the entire cereal shelf down, sending fruit loops and O's and chocolately cereal flying everywhere.

"Wait!!" Marluxia shouted, bending down a picking up a box of half-smashed Lucky Charms. "What's this?" Zexion walked over to where he was and began reading the box.

" 'Sweet Marshmallow cereal, with balloons, hats, Hearts, gol—'"

"HEARTS?!?!" Vexen, Luxord, Marluxia, and Xaldin (who hasn't even been mentioned in this story yet) screeched, ripping open the box, spilling it's content everywhere.

"Look!!!" Vexen said, picking up one of the Heart-shaped treats. "Our HEARTS!!! They're been here ALL ALONG!!!"

"And look!!" Luxord shouted, holding up one of the Rainbows. "Our emotions are here, too!!!"

"Actually.." Zexion began to explain, but was cut off by the sudden rush of Nobodies running into the aisle. Marluxia stood up on the fallen down shelf.

"LOOK Xemnas, Saix who is choking Demyx at the moment, Demyx who is being choked by Saix at the moment, Larxene who's finished killing a teddy bear, Xaldin who came out of nowhere, Xigbar who's supposed to be dead, his boar girlfriend (WTS?!?!), Axel and Roxas who're supposed to be in jail but got out of it by having man cramps (by the way, how'd they find out about that+shifty eyes+), Lexaeus who has no fangirls, Nax who has anger issues, Xed who's not even in this story (and for that matter, neither is Nax XD), Kaxu and Naxu who are in the same position as Nax and Xed, and all the other people I don't care about," Marluxia took a breath, holding up a box of Lucky Charms, "OUR HEARTS LIE WITHIN THESE PACKAGES!!!!"

Every gasped in excitement. (save for Demyx, who really couldn't breathe at the time, and Zexion, who was still trying to explain)

"LISTEN EVERYONE!!!" Zexion shouted, trying to talk. "These aren't—"

But suddenly, everyone jumped at the pile of cereal on the floor, ripping it all open, searching for their Hearts. Saix finally let go of Demyx, who sqealed in delight.

"YAY I LOVE LUCKY CHARMS THEY'RE MY FAVORITE FOOD!!!!"

Everyone stopped suddenly.

"Huh?"

It was…only CEREAL??

Wow, did they feel like idiots!!

Whistling, they all ran out of the store.

(Three minutes later)

The manager walked into aisle 4 to take inventory but stopped dead in his tracks, seeing the HUGE HUGE HUGE mess left on the floor.

"WHA HAPpENED HERE?!?!?!

Once over his shock, he called out:

"CLEAN UP ON AIsLE 4!!!!!!!"

**000000**

**Hey! This is the first Fanfic from our new group called Organization IV (for right now). It's made up of:**

**+ Xed**

**+ Nax**

**+ Kaxu**

**+ Naxu**

**But the people who wrote this story are:**

**Neon Cookies**

**Xed14thkey**

**We hope you liked it, and we hope to write many more:D:D:D**

_**NOW LET'S GO RAGU SLEDDING!!!! … YAY!!!**_


	2. WoRlD dOmInAtIoN EMO MOMENT WHOO

"DINNER TIME!!!!"

As Xemnas called out in the castle, everyone shuddered.

The worst time of the day had arrived.

_Oh dear god…_

The 12 other members of the Organization sat down at The Dinner Table That Never Was (and yet, it was. It's there! So what's the deal with that?!), all with uneasy looks plastered on their faces. Xemnas came out of the kitchen (whistling, of course), carrying two large trays of food. He stopped and sighed happily.

"Ahh, I love cooking for the Organization!" he exclaimed, skipping over to the table.

"And…we just love your cooking!" Axel lied. Roxas nodded.

"Yeah!" The two just sat there with ridiculous sized grins.

"Idiots…" Larxene mumbled, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

Xemnas then proceeded to place large, green bowls in front of each person, including his own empty seat.

Everyone looked down in his or her bowl.

And tried to resist the urge to be sick.

Inside contained a combination of _God-knows-what_, along with some items that were either still _moving_, or still _alive_.

Either way, it looked disgusting beyond all belief. (and possibly beyond that)

"Wow…Xemnas…" Luxord started, daring to break the thick silence that had fallen over the Organization. "This looks…umm…" Marluxia wrinkled his nose.

"Gross!" Then, a hard jab in the ribs from The Gambler got him to change his mind. "I mean, great! This looks absolutely…great!" The Superior smiled proudly.

"I know, doesn't it?" Everyone nodded quickly. Xemnas smile faded into a frown as he raised an eyebrow. "Well, what is everyone waiting for? Dig in!"

"Well, we'd love to but…" Xaldin tried to think of an excuse, but his mind failed him; he had nothing. Luckily, Number VI did.

Zexion flicked his fingers through his hair. "We think that, since you prepared the meal, you should be honored with the first bite." A chorus of 'yeah!'s and 'That's right!'s rang out, as Xemnas shook his head.

"Oh no, the chef should always be the last one to eat!" he reasoned. Everyone moaned inwardly.

_We're doomed….DOOMED!!_

"I don't think it can be THAT bad. " Saix mentioned.

Opening his mouth and touching the spoon to his lips.

Instantly his face turned as green as the food inside of the bowl.

"That's… wo-wonderful" he groaned not daring to swallow what ever it was.

"And the chunks of … whatever that is, Really gives it a nice… Texture."

Demyx reached in towards Xigbar and grinned. "did some one leave the vacuum on? I hear a large Sucking sound."

Just as soon as spoken Xigbar began to laugh.

"It actually laughed!"

"Shut up Larxene!" Shouted Xigbar pouting slightly.

"Hey Roxas! You must have really liked your dinner, you've eaten it all!" Exclaimed Axel as he noticed Roxas's empty bowl.

"No…No Axel…. I-I… Haven't eaten any of it."

"But how is that possible…" Axel noted that there were no trash cans any where near, and the organization (unfortunately) had no dog.

"Because Axel." He paused. "Its over there." Roxas pointed to the end of the room in the corner where the green chunky substance was last seen walking out of the door.

"Well that ruined my appetite." Larxene stood up took her bowl threw it into the kitchen and walked back to her room.

With a sad face Xemnas came back out and filled his own bowl.

"Why'd Larxene leave? Did she not love the meal? Well she never really did have good taste." He mumbled. With that a Kunai pinned his arm against the chair he was standing next to.

"What did you just say?" She growled.

"No No Xemnas." Saix said. "No one could hate your cooking, weather they have bad taste or not! She… She's just…. " He looked around needing an explanation for her actions, and yet again Number VI had an answer.

"PMSing." Zexion said quickly.

"And I've got man Cramps! Got to go! Bye." Axel said finally finding an excuse.

"And I should go… go help him… with his uh… problems" Roxas said shaking his head at how wrong that sounded.

"Oooooh OOOOOOOOH I've got man cramps too!" Marluxia shouted then grasping his stomach in pain.

"You can't handle the man cramps!" Lexaeus growled back. "and Ummm… you'll have to excuse me too." He said standing up speaking with a monotones voice.

"I've got some steroids to take." And with a straight face he walked out of the room.

Marluxia sat back into his chair and groaned.

"Fine! I'll just be a baby about this!" He mentioned.

"I hate your food! Now BYE" and he ran out.

Xemnas looked into his lap and frowned.

"That it!" Zexion groaned inwardly. "MORE EMO MOMENTS!!!11!!1!1!!!11!!!1!!!1!1!!11!!"

Xemnas just blinked.

"Oh wow look at the time!" Said Luxord looking at a fake watch on his wrist. "My bets will be on the internet in… uh two minutes!" He shouted.

"Um I think he needs a smart computer savvy person to man the computer." Xaldin said grinning.

"Then why are you coming mate." Luxord growled.

"Yeah a SMART PERSON." Number VI groaned swiftly following the other two.

"Larxene left, Axel and Roxas Left, Lexaeus left, Then Marluxia and now Luxord, Xaldin, and Zexion left tooo!" Wailed Xemnas putting his head in his hands.

Zexion poked his head around the corner one last time. "Hurray for Emo Moments"

"Welp those duckies are gonna eat well tonight!" Xemnas shouted.

"What?" The last remaining person, Saix, asked.

"Oh just finish your meal and leave me alone!"

"But…I'm not… Hungry." He groaned.

"I made it, you eat it! Or be demoted to number 15!"

"We have a fourteen?"

"DON'T QUESTION ME!!!!!"

"Bu-"

"JUST DON'T"

"Bu-"

"AND DON'T LOOK IN THE DOWN STAIRS CLOSET!!!1!!1!11!!1!1!!!1!!1!!!111!1!!1!elevendy, BBQ,ROFL,LOL,OMG,WTF,OMFG,WTH,ZOMG,BBQ,QQB.BQB,BQQ,ZZSRL(What is that),TTLY,TTYL,LIEK,LYKE,**HAHAHAHAHA**" he looked to his side hearing a thump and saw Saix on the floor twitching.

"What a baby." Xemnas said as he turned around and left the mansion.

000

Dumping the green chunky substance into the river he watched the ducks and fish start to nibble away.

"There you go little duckies." Xemnas chuckled. As he turned around he noticed a band of ducks following him.

"Stop Following me!"

"Our family, they ate that vile stuff…. And then our fish friends did too… HOW COULD YOU KILL THEM LIKE THAT." One of the little green ducks shouted.

"WORLD DOMINATION!!!!" Shouted another little green mallard.

"Yes. World domination starts with you! We shall dominate you and your friends and use them as little bags to conceal our identities as we carve out their innards and roam the earth as FREE DUCKS!!!!! WE'LL Use your Water sacks of bodies as our pass port to freedom then we can TAKE OVER KINGDOME HEARTS!!! DUCKS WOULD DO SUCH A BETTER JOB WITH MAKING KINGDOME HEARTS A REALITY!!!!!! YOU PATHETIC HUMANS DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE EVEN DOING, YOU HAVE THE BRAINSIZE OF A PEANUT!!!1 THEN We can get into that R rated movies and get those little thingies that look like umbrellas in our water or lemonade… and COOKED FOOD that isn't moving or bread that hasn't been (reduced low fat)!!!! (Though I do love those low carbs… I never seem to gain any weight off of Mrs. Whisenhowerds bred, but dern her kids make a lot of noise….) ANY WAY I FORGOT TO USE MY HIDIOUSE EBIL LAUGH ON YOU YOU PHATHETIC HUMAN BEING Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha …. Ha. I hope we can still be friends."

Duck's expression after that ramble:

Xemnas expression after that ramble: O . o;

"You guys are already free though" Xemnas said as if that entire display of pain and wrath seemed to not effect him at all.

"Really? Free? … Then can we just follow you around?"

"SURE! I LOVE LITTLE MEXICAN DUCKIES LIKE YOU!!!!!!CUU COOO CUCHI COO CUUU"

"Yeahhhh…"

000000

(Xigbar's opinion)

Xigbar could only stare as he watched Xemnas march proudly throughout the castle with a line of green ducks following him.

"Umm….okay…." he said slowly. Number II rasied an eyebrow. "And where'd you get that mustache?" Xemnas stopped and looked over at Xigbar.

"Wha?"

"You're mustache!! Where'd you get that?" Xemnas crossed his arms.

"Weeeeelll…."

FLASH BACK

Xemnas typed furiously on his computer, talking to his BFF Jill (XD) through AIM.

**Can't Get a Girl Xemnas :** "Lyke omg!!" Xemnas typed. "Lyke, Jill, u will not believe wha I jus got!!!"

**JiLLpWER666 : **Wha?

**Can't Get a Girl Xemnas :** DUcKIESSSS!!!!!!

**JiLLpWER666** swwwweeet!!!

(Can't Get a Girl Xemnas)'s Automated Away Message ::

_" 'scuse me, brb. I gtg grow a mustache."_

_"o . O"_

_(Can't Get a Girl Xemnas)'s Second Automated Message::_

"_Shouldn't take too long. _

FLASHBACK ENDS

"And here I am now." Xemnas said. "With a mutache. Or maybe I just bought it from Party Central. Or PathWay." Xigbar stared at him for a moment.

"Okay." He said, nodding his head. He then smiled evilly. "Can I use the ducks as target practice?" Xemnas gasped, clutching the duckys.

"NO LEAVE ME DUCKIES ALONE!!!!" And with that, Xemnas ran.

(Larxene's opinion)

"Pfft, who needs duckies?" Larxene scoffed. "Why don't you get some real friends?" She tilted her head to the side. "Then again, who needs friends? Get yourself a life. But, who needs a life? Get yourself a Heart!" she then crossed her arms. "But then, who needs a Heart? We're all just traveling the road of tears, that lead to our lives of ashes and dead roses…and angusish…that will never rise from the depths of despair. And who are we, to believe in light? When there's only dark to lead us through our so-called lives? Why do we live? WHY?!?!?!? IS THERE SOME POINT THAT I CANNOT SEE?!?!"

Zexion peered up from his book, emotionlessly. Larxene was crying.

"Excuse me." Larxene sniffed. "I have some dark make-up, hair dye, and wrist cutting to take care of." And she ran out of the room.

Zexion smiled.

"WOOOOOOOOT EMO MOMENTS PWN MY SOUL!?!????!??!?1//1?!?!?!?!?!?BBQWTSBBBQQQBQBQBQBQBQBQBQBQBQBQQGILLAGINSISLAND!!?!!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!SNORTSNORTYKINS!!?!?!!?1"

(Axel's, Xaldin's, and Luxord's opinion)

(all holding up butcher knives, forks, and platters)

Axel smirked.

"Duck anyone?"

(Demyx's and Roxas' opinion)

"Oh my gosh!! I LOVE Duckies!!!" Demyx shouted, hugging one of the ducks until they turned blue. Roxas nodded, hugging another one (more gently, might I add).

"They're so cute!" he gushed. The ducks only squirmed and quacked: 'HEEEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!'

(Lexaeus's opinion)

Lexaeus only stared at the ducks.

And then took some more steroids.

000000

Xed and Nax wondered about the castle that was running amock with ducks (and flying fireballs and butcher knives).

(Oh, and by the way, Xed and Nax are original characters that, if you steal, will come and haunt you for the rest of your afterlife. Which, could be a while XD Get it? Got it. Good, now shut it,)

"Aww, these duck are sorta cute." Nax said, looking at a few ducks running around. Xed looked at her in dibelief.

"You…you…you just said they were cute!" Xed exclaimed, utterly shocked. The younger of the two shrugged.

"So?"

"The only things you ever admitted was cute was that guy you killed last week when he was lying in a puddle of his own blood. And DEMYX!"

"SHUT UP!" Nax screehed, kicking Xed in her butt. Xed glared at Nax, and was about to kick her back when a small ducky waddled up to them.

"Quack." It said. Nax's eyes twitched.

"Go away, you dumb duck."

"Quack!" Nax narrowed her eyes and barred her teeth.

"I…said….GET. LOST." She muttered through grit teeth. Then, the duck sentenced itself to inevitable suicide.

By pecking Nax's foot.

"ARRGHH!!H!!!!" The ivory-haired teen shouted, lunging at the duck. But before she could reach the clueless animal, Xed grabbed Nax around her waist and held her back.

"RUN DUCK!!!" Xed shouted, trying her best to keep Nax from attacking. It only quacked and cocked it's head to the side. Xed grit her teeth after nearly being punched in the face by an angry 13 year old.

"RUN, DURNIT!! What part of this-girl-will-kill-you don't you get?!?!"

"Quack."

"LEMMIE AT IT!!!!" Nax roared. Xed rolled her eyes.

"DUCK SAUCE!!!!" she shouted. Finally, the duck got the message and took off. Only a few seconds after it disappeared, Nax broke free of Xed's grasp, and went after it, wielding a randomly obtained medival flail.

"Durn…" Xed cursed under her breath, running after her.

000000

A green duck leapt up on top of the dinner table and looked around He noticed that there was the same residue of food that the man tried to kill them all with earlier.

"I Know how to defeat the puny human race!" said the duck.

Marluxia (who came out of no where), Stared in amazment as the creature talked.

"We shall poison the humans!"

With that all of the ducks came running foot by foot marching in a single filed line grabbing dishes of the "Green Chunky Substance" that was called food. As the line went on and on the ducks threw the goo at all of the organization members, some of the ducks (Not surprisingly) had wonderful aim and were reaching the organization members mouths easily.

Marluxia and Luxord were the first two down but then Axel and his flaming Chakrams barreling in towards them.

"Abrasive positions! Flaming hairy ugly red headed man at two o' clock."

With that every single duck 'Ducked' and Axel went flying over them and into a pile of the Green, Chunky, Substance.

Soon the fire began to burn the chunky substance until smoke started to rise and a ringing sound was heard.

Soon the substance exploded and the ducks went flying in the air.

"WE SHALL GET YOU YET YOU STUPID HUMANS!!!! I SWEAR IT ON THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS GOOD, BUT FOR NOW WE RESIDE IN OUR HALF DEAD, OTHER HALF EXTREAMLY SICK FROM YOUR SUPIRIORS STUPID WANT-TO-BE COOKING FOOD, POND!!!!"

And with that the organization was saved from the ducks, accept every one was dead because of the food, all but Larxene who was in her room cutting her arms and letting her hair soak in a black dye.

"Hello? Helllooooo" she called, and when no one answered she put ear phones back on and listened to her morbid music.

000000

Suddenly a flash of light.

"Few it was all a dream."

"It was? I had that too… those were some ugly humans… geeze. I wonder if their real. I like the part where I rambled on and on."

"I like the part where we exploded the mansion…"

"Good times in this pond… Good times."

000000

Nax rubbed her head and looked up, the mansion was missing its roof and the people inside were dead…

"Hey Xed… I have a feeling… that ducks did this."

DUN DUN DUN

The end.

**[HAHAHA Crackfic:**

**Ducks will Pwn the earth! And Asians will pwn the …**

**UNIVERSE**

**(Asian pride is on your side.)**


	3. Night at the Puboh Smoof

Sometime after dinner with the weird, green, chunky stuff, the thirteen members (and then some) found themselves heading towards the bar.

As Marluxia put it, "Get this taste OUT of my mouth!!"

The members walked past the large, scary, and slightly hairy, bouncer dude nonchalantly, except Demyx.

"Hold it."

Roxas looked back waving before running further inside of the bar.

"Yes?" Demyx chirped.

"You don't look old enough to enter… This is a 18 and up bar."

Demyx looked distraught. "But I'm old enough…"

The bouncer crossed his arms sternly. "I need some identification.

"But Roxas is 14!"

"ID, please."

"But we don't have any…"

The bouncer gave him a hard look, and grunted, "Fine. Then you'll have to take a few tests…"

Demyx gulped. "What kind of tests?"

The bouncer grinned evilly.

000000

Once inside the bar, the Organization began to loosen up. Everyone ordered drinks, and the fun began…

"AXEL! GET OFF THAT TABLE! AND PUT ON YOUR PANTS FOR GOD'S SAKE!"

"HELLLLLLONO!"

Over in the corner, Xigbar and Xaldin were doing shots, and were bloody wasted. They couldn't even pick up their glasses, so they settled on licking it off the table. In some shape or form, they ended up licking it off each other's faces, ultimately leading to the gathering of several people, chanting 'Yaoi! Yaoi! Yaoi!'.

(Meanwhile at the door…)

"Alright, now stick out your tongue…"

Demyx gave a puzzled look. "But wh—"

"DO IT!"

Demyx stuck his tongue out.

"Now, touch your nose…"

He touched his finger to his nose easily.

The bouncer cursed. "You win this round…"

000000

"AXEL! PUT YOUR BRA BACK ON!"

"But thaasssss not mah BRAAAA…."

"LARXENE!"

"…that's not mine."

"OH! I was looking for that!" Marluxia pranced over, took up the pink frilly 34C bra and skipped away merrily.

Saix face-palmed himself. "Why do we even keep him around?"

Lexaeus shrugged, taking another swig of his beer. "Comic relief?"

"It's cause he's good in the garden…" Larxene added in. A rather drunk Vexen gave her a questioning look.

"What garden are YOU talking about, lady?"

That night Vexen became less of a man…if you know what we mean… (nudge nudge)

000000

Demyx, having passed the first 10 tests, now found himself taking a breast exam…

He companied, "I don't even have breasts…"

Yet the bouncer said, "DO IT!"

Demyx reluctantly stripped off his shirt, while the bouncer leered at him.

"Aw yeah, take it off…yeahhhhh…."

At this time, Marluxia had stepped out to get some air and unfortunately heard the whole thing. He looked at the bottle of vodka in his hands and blinked. "I dunnn wanna know what theyyyy're DOOOing……"

0000000

Off in another corner of the bar, Nax found herself EXTREMEMMMMMLY wasted, only held up by the strong, firm grasp of Xed…and her hair…

"Nax, I think you've had enough to drink…" the girl said, attempting to pry another bottle of regular, plain, non-alcoholic lemonade from her friend's hands. Nax shoed her away.

"Wha' you talking bout, Giiiiiiirly? Shhhoooe…."

"Nax, we're leaving!"

"You knowww, the tellleshvissieon is like, moving UPPP, and I'mm staying doownnnnnn…." She chuckled drunkly.

Xed face-palmed herself. "There isn't even a TV in here!"

0000000

"E MC2…FINALLY!!" Demyx jumped up from the random school desk he was sitting at, still outside the entrance to the bar. "I'M DONE!!"

The bouncer looked his test over. "Okay, you can go in."

"YAY!!" He took a step forward, only to be pulled back by the exiting grasp of Axel. "COME ON! WE'RE LLLLEEEAVING!"

Demyx looked mortified, as he dropped to his knees and lets out a dramatic scream:

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!"

Xemnas walked up to Demyx, and held out a Mexican ducky to the boy. "Squeeze this. It makes all your trouble float away…

Demyx gave him a funny look. "Are you high?"

"JUST SQUEEZE IT!"

The bouncer looked interested. "Woah, tiger!"

Disgusted, the Mexican ducky cried out, "I AM NOT MADE OF PLASTIC, YOU FOOL! AND I AM NOT A SQUEEEEEZY TOY! However, I do enjoy those little yellow squeezy bath ducks…they are quite cute and adorable…" He grinned slyly. "They fulfill my fantasies."

Demyx drops the duck, grossed out.

"What the HECK, MAN?!"

000000

**HOORAY! **

No Mexican duckies were actually harmed in the making of this chapter, however, four flying boars, two chickens, Xed's foot, and Nax's Brain were all killed. There were two injured Organization members the following night because… well, you know, when you have to many drinks and there is only one girl….

**Also, watch out for Nax and her MONSTER hangover… D:**


End file.
